The more I study my literature, the more I begin to see things.

I've talked so many times about Joy Luck Club, I'm probably the only silly person able to relate enough to it to write a paper about it for my school's Literature Symposium.

My character anaylsis of Rose Hsu-Jordan has led me to realise a few things. Rose is a young woman, who has undergone disappointments and stress before, and takes to abiding to fate, that is, simply letting things be. She goes through a divorce, and because of that turns to many people for advice, listening to none basically because she has listened to so many she can't make out who to listen to, and can't even hear what her own heart/instincts says.

When you think of a topic like Fate and Faith, most would think it is a complex subject in which we will most likely never touch upon. Perhaps, most think since it is a philosophical topic, it need not be thought over by most people. But if you think about it, it is a part in all of us, the thing that seperates the successful and the failures, the contented and the depressed, the sane and the insane. For what we do to contribute to how we live is basically based on how much faith we have, in God, in life, in ourselves.

If we did not have faith in God, would be strive to better ourselves to His commandments, to struggle to change and adjust to do what is right?
If we did not have faith in life, would be bother to continue living?
If we did not have faith in ourselves, would continue putting effort?

I know, personally, I don't do my very best in most things. I can feel like I can do so much more, but yet I'm not willing to go beyond. To add onto that, whatever bothers me, I pretty much mope and leave it alone, waiting for it to unfold. I run from person to person for advice, which I never follow. I sit and cry, because I can't think about what to do next when I reach the stage where doing nothing is impossible. So many choices for what to do, and one wrong thing could lead to failure. I could have very well 'dropped my face in the well'.

I'm a perfect epitome of Rose Hsu-Jordan.

Faith is an abstract thought to grasp, because of past experiences, I have lost 'faith'. Those rare occasions when I find the strength, I feel dizzy on my feet. Its a far cry from where I am, but its obtainable. The only thing I lack now, is faith. True, undefeatable faith.

What should I believe in? What do I believe in now? And how do I change this? Once again, its a groping-in-the-dark situation.

The amazing thing about Amy Tan, is that she puts words to the abstract thoughts of mind. And from the situation she places them in, you can still pull them out as individuals, clean and pure, like a pearl from the sand.