Today was national day celebrations. It was really fun, blew lots of bubbles, got high with my class, and felt a sense of accomplishment cleaning the field of the strewn confetti. Celebrations ended at 9 initially, but because EVERY OTHER SCHOOL IN SINGAPORE is released at 10, we stayed around and waited. Teachers were trying to prep us up so as to not waste our time (but to pump up SC spirit and patriotism), and we counted down to (get this) 10am, when we can go!

After which, Carine, Tanya and I bought brunch at Macs and went to my house to study until 4. =)


Lately I've been very dead. Its an odd state of mind I've been in since Sunday. I want to hide away more than anything, to withdraw myself from everyone else. Human affairs are killing me, and I'm so exhausted with feeling stupid for caring so much for certain people, and being frustrated with people, that I just want to break away from EVERYONE.

But its not fair to everyone. I have, once again, allowed myself to believe that I care too much, that I sacrifice too much for the people I love (and that they probably don't take the things I do to heart), and that I'll be better off alone: a lie that I have embraced fully countless times. So now, I am trying to plunge myself straight into the heart of people, to feel comfortable being with my friends again, to embrace friendship at its core. I will keep trying, because the untimely truth always unravels itself in the end - that my loved ones are definitely worth it.


To those people I've hurt, I'm really sorry.

To everyone, I love you.


... and forget where the heart is someday
if ever you loved me you'd say
its ok.