Its a cold chilly day. It rained this morning, and in the afternoon my airconditioner got fixed. I had my English Oral. Screwed up a bit, and went to look for a hug. No hug. Aw.

I don't see the appeal of hugging my dad anymore. If he wants a mature, independent adult for a child - fine. But I'm not diving into spreadsheets for him.

I ask you, whats the point of having a child if you don't even want to take care of it? Maybe it would sprout out like a shoot, skip all those troublesome adolescent years, and start doing all his paperwork at the age of 14. Then at the age of 17, it can become manager of the stupid company, earn loads of money, take care of his insurance and bills, and by 19 bear him two grandchildren to play with. That'll be nice, eh? Then it can hang on his every whim, like a good it should be.

Or maybe a young child will be nice. Yeah. When you're in the mood, lets take the child out to the zoo and spend loads of money on it. Lavish it, dress it up in designer clothing, then when you're tired? No Problem! Plop it back into the room where it belongs, amongst all the other toys. It lives to entertain.

I know. I'm being cold, heartless, ruthless, insensitive. But right now, I don't really care.

Loneliness is so abstract.


Don't think I never heard you all fighting at night. Don't think that I had no ears, no eyes, no feelings. Don't think that I was the little adult you thought I was.
Hurr. But what was I thinking? You DON'T THINK.
Looks like your plan backfired, eh? Time to bring "Liang Hwei" back to the shop for repairs. Maybe we can pick a boy with less dependency issues.