dear delilah








Fathers, be good to your daughters; daughters will love like you do.

you are the strength and the weight of her world

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Stream her with roses and daisies, dear mother,
let all that she speak be all that that she hears.
For no higher, no higher let her forehead doth grow;
and so dote, dote my mother, my mother so dear
and let her run free with a conscience so clear


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Tuesday, 24 July 2007
who said it was easy to care?

Events after events can pass. And hopelessness can arise its hideous head. Here, trapped physically in this house, I've never wanted more to break myself away. Its about time, I guess. I should have reached the breaking point ages ago. You think - you should have gone mad, retaliated long time ago.

I don't retaliate. Silence is my weapon. Its the edge on which I hurt those I love. Its with silence that I lay my verdict down to those who wronged me. Can you stand it? Can you stand forced ignorance? Can you stand not knowing?

Where have you gone wrong? Ask yourself that. Why? I've given up once, I can't be bothered to get up. I've learnt that men learn best after suffering. And I see you suffering. I could shout at you, but I'm not giving you the pleasure to shout back. You have no right to whine. You're nothing.

And the best thing? you'll never hear me whine. You don't read, let alone between the lines. You don't understand, and I won't let you. That's my punishment to you. That's my response to your heartlessness. I'm trapped in this life, yes. And I blame you for who I am.

Who I am.

You'll never see the viciousness on my lips. You'll never see the anger on my knuckles. You'll never see me hurt for you.

I'll never hurt for you.

People are tired of trying FOR YOU. FOR YOU. And all you give back is selfishness, needyness, ignorance. ZI4 SI1. You retaliate with selfpity, hopelessness, YOU'RE BLIND. BLIND. YOU REFUSE TO SEE ANYTHING ELSE. WHY DON'T YOU BOTHER? WHY EXPECT OTHERS TO BOTHER FOR YOU? ARE YOU MAD?!?!?!?!?!
They have fought for you. You'll not see me fight. Why should I?


I'm angry, of course. It will fade away. I'm nice, of course. It not normal for me to be this way, yes. I will still love you, yes. But the worst thing? This isn't the first time I've felt this numbness. But I'm a part of you. You caused it.

You created this hatred. But you don't know, do you?

he told me that I've done alright
and kissed me till the morning light