emo has no style. I won't do it for you.


That's my new EMO motto!

Ok, I'm not exactly preppy now, but that sounded like it should be in a preppy form so...

I'm really tired now, but I'm far from wanting to go to sleep. I'm sick today, apparently my tonsil is swollen on the left side (quote doctor: the biggest possible size for a flu), which gave me the inspiration to not go to school in my half-asleep mode. In that mode, I informed my maid, surfed the net for the school website, and contacted the school at 6.30 am. Afterwhich, I went back to bed.

Lo and behold, I woke up with full on headache, sniffly nose and sneezing.


The reason I don't want to sleep now, is because its one of those moments when I just have to write something. Mostly its emo, occasionally inspirational revelations, other times just excitement. I'll cross out excitement for now - I'm too drowsy to be.

There is so much to say right now. But I'll just say this.

I believe the thing that you hate most is probably something you possess. It sort of fits to a few people I know. But for privacy, I'll just leave it unnamed.

For me, its self-pity. I detest it. Not being able to find a way out of situation, resorting to mull in one's misery, even immersing oneself in that pain. That usually results in self-inflicted pain. Cutting, suicide, rebellion. I can't say that rebellion is something easily avoided. We have our own ways to rebel. But self-pity usually leads to ridiculous reasons to do it. We warp stories up of ourselves, and one day, you're going to wake up like me - seriously needing a wakeup call, not knowing what is right or wrong, what is you and what is made up. You become a fragment of your excuses to your imperfections. You start leading the sad and desolate life that only you can see.

That's me, by the way. (and no, I have not cut myself, or attempted suicide. I'm lucky.)

I'm not mulling over the fact that who I am is horrid. I'm stating a point. Everytime I see someone indulge in self-pity, and to add onto that making up excuses for that, I get really angry. I've hurt people with this anger. Its the only thing so far that has managed to actually get me mad at someone. And after a while, once you think about it - I'm actually being a hypocrite.

I won't say that I've totally changed. Read the above, you'll see self-pity in there somewhere (or everywhere, damn it). But just think about it. What do you hate? And worst of all - do you do it too? If you're anything like me, there's a high possibility that you do.

There are still other thoughts. Gah, I'm going to sleep.