I'll draw for you, child, facades of life. I'll fill them with shades of grey just for you, and stamp them with joyful tunes of approvement. Listen to them, dear child, and understand - know - that for certain, love exists. You needn't worry, child.

Once you know, its all you need. Once everyone knows, and no one questions, life will be perfect. Perfect.


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I'm high at times, yes. But I don't see the need to. Keep yourself occupied, they say, you won't feel like this. It feels like lying, but its actually not. Its not lying, especially when its for your benefit. See how malicious words can be when you manipulate them as such?

But truthfully. Its not lying. Its facing it head on, not hiding from it. I won't say I'm strong, but I won't say that I'm helpless. God's on my side.

I'll just say this. This addiction of sadness is hard to get over. Melancholy is beautiful. And the revelation of true beauty even more so. I'm an addict.

My whines don't work anymore, and because of this I feel misplaced. Do you see my problem? Who am I, if not the girl who sits in corners writing poems? Who am I, if not the one with the broken heart and broken home? Who am I, if not for the girl who could not see? I've been in it so long, my entire life is built around sadness. Without it, I'm just empty.

Sometimes, it takes a while to realise. To put the words to the sadness. But since its clear, now I know what I must do.

Its an odd thing, getting lost by hope. I have all the answers now. All I have to do is accept them.

Does anyone understand? Do you understand now, dear reader? Will you not force me anymore? Will you believe me? That I have to adjust to the light. I have to learn how to use the sword, before I defend myself. Will you stop forcing me? Will you give me time?

Do you know that I know your thoughts before you say them? Do you know the pressure upon me?