I realised how scary it is when someone you know has turned away from God.

I was so astounded, when I first met her, by her passion and love for God. She had been so happy with her church activities, her conversations with God, and spreading the gospel to her friends. And now, all that seems to have disappeared in a short few months.

What had happened? Had she forgotten how it felt to speak to God? How he granted us freedom rather than restrictions? Is He simply a religion, after all?

Perhaps its because I'm still young in Christ. I remember very clearly the first time I had my encounter. The rush, the joy, the love. I didn't feel restricted, like I thought I would, but I felt a want, a need to follow the Lord's commandments, because I knew what I meant to Him. I was a child of God, a new-born lamb in his presence. God slowly integrated into my life, and here I am. Imperfect, definitely, and struggling all the same. But I don't blame God. Because I remember He gave me a choice, and I chose Him.

Perhaps looking at her makes me afraid. Afraid that God's children will all leave Him. That His love will never be realised, because no one is willing to let Him into their heart. And the truth of how I feel, is not that I want to save her from evils or whatever, but rather, I want to see that passion in her again, that heart-warming love that I'm afraid she will lose.

I'm afraid of losing her. Losing anyone.


When I see how easily the world is letting go of God, I realise how much I depend on Him to keep me alive, and how, without words, He responds to my needs, and walks my road for me.